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The Golden Knights ate a really hot chocolate bar and the results are as expected

This is a slow news day and we are not ashamed.

This, truly, is the content you’ve all been waiting for.

It’s hot as hell. No one wants to go outside. Hockey won’t be a thing for another month and some change. We need something. Anything. We need four heroes to bring us the kind of material needed to get us through this slow news cycle, because the Vegas Golden Knights are likely done for the year.

May we present Men vs. A Reaper-Pepper-Infused Chocolate bar?

This was not expected to pop up on ye ol’ Twitter dot com today, but here we are watching Mark Stone, Marc-Andre Fleury, Ryan Reaves and Nate Schmidt taking part in the Choco Challenge for all of our enjoyment.

Some background on this: The Choco Challenge is a very spicy chocolate bar created by Fuego Box. It is a piece of chocolate infused with a black reaper pepper. There is a benefit, though: Each box purchased results in a $5 donation to prostate cancer research. That part is great, but considering eating this could likely result in a one-hour trip to the bathroom, this is about as ironic of a piece of chocolate as one could get.

Anyway, here we have the two faces of the franchise and two of the most beloved players in the Golden Knights organization risking their lives and well-being for all of you.

So of course I clipped some gifs from it. Let’s break it down.

Mistakes are about to be made, and Schmidt is thrilled.

Fleury, observing his soon-to-be hell, wants to know if it smells as bad as it tastes. “It stinks,” he said.

Because the last thing the Golden Knights need is their superstar Selke finalist to flush his eyes out because he TOUCHED THE DAMN CHOCOLATE.

Once more, with feeling! “GAH,” Stone said, I think.

Damn it, Flower. You had the right idea (he still ate it).

I demand a mix of Stone’s laugh with Kawhi Leonard’s. Make it so. Fleury follows it with, “Great job, Reavo,” because how can we expect this wasn’t his idea?

Has there ever been a greater pain?

I think we’ve underestimated the character that is Mark Stone.

No. 1 rule of eating really hot things: Go for the cooling relief, not the dairy-filled lies you’ve been told all your life.

REAVES IS SWEATING MY GOD GET THAT MAN AN AMBULANCE.

At the end of the day, in the battle of men vs. chocolate bar, the chocolate bar kicked the Golden Knights’ collective asses, but we are all here for it. These heroes gave us something we didn’t expect in this hot summer day, but we’re here for more food challenges if need be.

Now go off into the hot sunset and enjoy your offseason.